Journal: Christo-pagan?

Recently, I mentioned that my family has just joined a Christian church. The pastor is very liberal as far as pastor’s go, believing in both the Big Bang theory and Evolution, and he has found a way to incorporate his belief in God with such hot-spot issues. I like his way of thinking.

Anyway, we went to church two weeks ago and took communion. I haven’t had communion at this church before and I found it very interesting. At other churches I’ve attended, communion always involved the passing out of little squares of bread and teeny little communion glasses (think about half a shot glass) with juice or wine in them.

Having been raised Presbyterian, I always knew that the bread and juice were symbols, and did not actually transform into actual flesh and blood, as some of my more Lutheran and Catholic friends believe.

At this new church, however, we rose from our pews and formed a line to go to the front of the church where we took a piece of broken bread from the plate, and dipped it in the chalice of juice before putting it in our mouths.

Hmm I thought…what does that remind me of?

I had a brief moment wondering if I would be struck by lightning or some other natural disaster would befall me because of my decidedly pagan path. I was glad to survive communion and came out of it with a firmer sense that I am on the right path..whatever unique path that may be.

Today, I was studying my new tarot card deck “The Well Worn Path” and it finally struck me why the communion service, while something I’d never done in that way before, seemed so familiar.

Dipping the bread in the juice to recieve the spirit of God…

Dipping the athame in the chalice to symbolize the union of God and Goddess….

Hmmm.

To me this is a further sign that yes, one can be Christo-Pagan and that Yes, I am still walking the path I am meant to travel.

Journal #3: Reconciliation

In the last few months, I have been more vocal about my tendency towards pagan and/or earth-based religion. Its no secret in my household that I am studying, learning, reading just about everything I can.

Paradoxically, I have also managed to get our family to join a church. A Christian church.

At the same time I’ve discovered the bountiful love and compassion in the female aspect of the Divine, have also rediscovered the love and comfort in the male aspect of the Divine.

Does that make me a hypocrite to one or both religions?

Thoughts like this kept me busy thinking yesterday, as I actually went to church and took communion. I worried, walking up to receive the Host, would I be struck by lightning? Would something terrible happen? Would the cracker and grape juice somehow harm me because of my pagan leanings?
Of course none of that happened.
The sermon was interesting, as it always is. It was about the cosmic consciousness and connectedness, the interconnection of all of us….we are all made of atoms and molecules that are constantly being lost, interchanged, rejoined…and the pastor even referred to the universe starting with the big bang.
I really love that guy’s thinking. Every single sermon he preaches has something in it that I wouldn’t expect to hear, and never heard in any of the other denominations I’ve explored (presbyterian, catholic, and lutheran). This is United Church of Christ affiliation.

I spent about an hour on the phone with this Pastor not so long ago. I told him of my feelings that there is more than just masculine aspect of the Divine, that there has to be a female aspect also. He agreed. I told him how I felt Jesus wasn’t the only one who came to help…the other facets of Jesus included Mohammed, Buddha..other saviors in other religions. And the pastor was okay with that too. He actually told me that much of what I was saying was echoed in Deepak Chopra’s writings, and suggested I read some. And when I told him my (dream)(visions) of Jesus, he said I was blessed and possibly touched by God.

Is this really a Christian church? Having been exposed a LOT to the Lutheran leanings of much of my family, I am relieved to find a place where we can go, hear a positive message, and not be judged. My kids went to a Lutheran service recently and came home obviously upset. They were both very put off by the concept that we are all bad, born with original sin (it was a baptism they attended) and that we continue to need to petition God for forgiveness.

So I took communion yesterday, and my teenage daughter took it for the first time. No bells or whistles. No lighting strikes or bad things happened.

I have to think that God/Goddess is okay with all this. We are put here to learn, to love, to grow spiritually. I think that my studies into other facets of the Divine are causing me to learn and grow. I think that the tolerance that is inherent in some of the old ways is something that all the current mainstream religions could stand to remember.

I will continue to go to Church as my work schedule allows. (Pastor also told me that caring for the sick and injured is serving God, and that having to work is a valid reason for not going to Church) (Did I mention I’m a nurse?).

I will continue to explore my relationship with both and all aspects of Diety. I’ve heard tell that one cannot be “Christo-pagan” because the two are dynamically opposed. (Isn’t there a passage somewhere about suffer the witches not to live, or something? Didn’t the Christians kill thousands during the Inquisition and during the burning times?) Seems to me the pagans had it right more often, when I think on it.

Anyway, for now I am Christo-pagan, until I think of a better term. And I think all aspects of Diety are okay with that.